Monthly Archives: December 2013

Downloading Lined Paper

Three stories: One writer

That is my current story to writer ratio. I’ve watched a few episodes of Dr. Who, Quantum Leap, and Big Bang Theory, but none have given me the resources to actively clone myself. Bummer! Guess I have to fall back on that pitiful standby of–dare I say–time management. Eck. Eck. Sorry, just vomited in my mouth little.

So, on my journey to split the personalities in my head, I went with a bold and creative avenue. Cheating at work! Most the time when I have some downtime, I read books on my Nook or Kindle app, but since I’m trying to organize the voices, it became clear time management meant managing every bit of free time.

There I was, sitting at my computer when I had this epiphany. I started to write on the back of my work schedule, but as it turns out I’m a sideways writer. About a 45 degree angle slope off toward the lower right corner of the page as it is. So as I wrote, the angle grew smaller and smaller until I was able to get about three words into the tiny triangle at the lower left hand area of the page. I call it freeform sentencing.

When I came home, I rummaged through every notebook–college and wide ruled–I had, but they weren’t quite fitting the bill. I tend to write script very tiny, but college ruled was too tiny, while wide ruled didn’t fare much better. Enter the “thank you Google,” that erupted from my lips when I found a great template of lined paper that was just the right size. I felt like Goldilocks and finally went to sleep.

Te following day when I found free time at work, I pulled out my printed off lined paper and started to write the story of half the personalities in my head. The script wrote itself, and I was able to pocket my thoughts with ease. Two pages in and already people are dying, kittens are mewing, a raven is having a bad wing day, and the laundry is piled up…yeah, my inspiration came from a sad country song. It only gets worse, and the voices only got louder. So much for appeasing the madness with sacrificial lined paper templates. Oye!

Oh, and on another mile high realization into the terrifying dimension of time management I am hit with this question from a fellow nurse, “How long will it take you to type it up from paper?”

Damn! Way to create extra work Tania. Way to create extra work! Next time I decide to micromanage the voices I’ll tell them to take a number and serve them some wine and pie.

Enjoy the vocal muse for this heart breaking story written on downloaded lined paper.

Tania L Ramos, RN and Author way out of ratio

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Consorting with Malingering Voices

What does it mean to be a writer?

These past few days I have run into many people and struck up random conversations. After talking for a bit some have said, “Oh, you should check out my book.” And I get excited to meet a fellow writer. They are such a fun group of people to chat with because we all get inspiration from different sources, but always say, “I just had to get the voices out of my head.”

Any field therapist would immediately put us on a psychiatric hold and delve deeper into these haunting voices that urge, nay I say nag, us into writing out their manifestos. To the outside world this may seem like a huge hindrance. I mean really, try meditating or concentrating on downward dog pose when two or more characters are chatting away in your brain. It’s like a party all the time. Unless you have some seriously depressed characters, in which case one may need to hide the razors. Then there’s the manic characters who need a shot of Nyquil and Prozac to bring down the tone and your heart rate. Ever live with a homicidal maniac in your head? That would be Fluffy, the killer kitty who harbors multiple episodic personalities, who enjoys digging its claws into my brain every now and again. Ugh, yeah . . . some of the voices are feline, alien, heck there’s even an angel–that I think isn’t the halo wearing kind–malingering up in my noggin.

Oh yes, I am a therapy life study. I am the thesis paper that leads to Nobel Prizes. I am villainy and salvation in the form of letters and sentences. Given the choice between silence on a mountain to hear the gentle cacaw of the great bald eagle and refereeing a grudge match between bitter, ruthless, sometimes insane characters . . . I’ll take the voices in my head; they sure know how to stir up trouble. Now if people would just stop staring at me like I’m crazy while I’m driving my empty van and shouting at myself in character dialogue.

Thank you for following along today. This post was brought to you by the many many and vast voices in my head. To completely understand please follow the bouncing ball, or watch this video because there is no bouncing ball.

The moral of the story is this: its a scary scary place inside the mind of a writer. Be afraid. Be very afraid. {insert maniacal laugh}

Tania L Ramos, RN, Author who consorts with the voices in her head

Want to know what the voices say? Click this link

The Pain of Productivity

changes Ever wish there was more time in the day? Maybe in the year? How about your life? I’m torn. On the one hand I can’t wait until the end of the day when I can sleep it off. On the other hand there isn’t enough time to get everything done.

What is my life? Well, in 2011 when I was on disability my life consisted of writing and attending court every other day. It was miserable and wonderful all rolled into one. In one regard I was able to follow my dream of writing, in the other it was a tragic and devastating year for my entire family … makes for great writing though.

In 2012, I returned to the work force, albeit it was a slow transition. After the dark year of 2011 there were many changes in my life, the biggest being the newly shared custody of my sweet baby girl, whose father moved over an hour and a half from me. That was a game changer. I took an on-call position with no benefits or paid time off, yet worked full time hours and more. I was also thrust into having to commute weekly to pick up my daughter. Since my time with her was now shared, I found it difficult to give away the time we had together to doing anything other than being with her. This left me with zero writing time.

Do you know what happens when you have zero writing time? The voices go away. They don’t disappear per say, they simply grow quiet and go down to a low lull. I still hear them, and they still beckon me, but I have to put them off to be a responsible adult and manage my home and family. Single mom status is not as glamorous as Hollywood makes it out to be.

So during NaNoWriMo month I pledged to start writing. How did that turn out? Epic fail! 500 words, and it was more venting through characters than actual story line. Then the night before Thanksgiving I was hit with something exciting: the stomach flu. What good can from the stomach flu? Well, after realizing I would be living in the bathroom for 24 hours it occurred to me that I could spend that time productively. So, I grabbed a copy of Be Still and a red pen, and while my intestines slowly died I edited my book. TMI? Too bad.

The moral of the story is: I have to be in physical or emotional pain to be productive. So here’s to all of you who can relate … out of the ashes rises the Phoenix.

Tania L Ramos, RN and author who’s finally on solid foods

BeStillNovel.com