Never Live in Gotham

Comic books, movies, war stories…you can learn something from each of them. Things that can help you in real life I might add. We’ve all done the thing; you know the thing at the movies where you yell at the screen as if it were a choose your path kind of book. “Don’t run up the stairs!” “Look behind the door.” “No, not that guy.” Relating yet?

Well here is my personal compilation of things we can learn from fiction:

1) Super Hero Real Estate

Never ever, and I mean ever, buy real estate in a city where there is a known super hero. Look at Gotham and Metropolis, these cities are in a constant flux of rebuilding due to the fact that a super hero lives there. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction: For every super hero there must be a super villain. Not a villain mind you, but a super villain. Taking up residence where there is a super hero almost definitely puts your property on increased home owners insurance due to “Collateral Damage based on Superhero.”

2) The First One Out

It goes without saying that you never take the first helicopter out. If you are a pilot, never be the first one in. Which movie have you seen where the first helicopter or plane in managed to stay adrift after picking up the first load of survivors? The zombies are at your feet, the enemy has you within its sights, the plague is in the air ten feet away…take your chances with the zombies, enemy, and plague before hopping onto the first airship. Trust me.

3) Beware the Ally

If you feel like taking a walk on the right side of the line and you don’t have extraordinary skills, be warned that you are pretty much a pawn. Haven’t we realized yet that the enemy always goes after the family, friends, and love interests of the hero (super or not)? Sure you will be avenged, but you’ll never know that you were because you’ll be dead.

4) The Only Person You Can Trust

Enemies are really allies. Allies are really enemies. In the end the only person you can trust is the most volatile and unpredictable person. They will always be volatile, they will never be predictable and that at least gives you something to work with. Even unpredictable people are predictable in that they are not. That’s right, think on that one.

5) The Entourage

To survive in anything you will need an entourage of key players: The kick ass girl who looks as innocent as a dove but will readily jab a dagger down someone’s throat and not think twice. The driver; one who can drive any vehicle, drift, knows two-wheel action, how to launch off a simple pile of pallets, and can maneuver through a crowd of people on the sidewalk. The Juggernaut; a man of godly proportions who can smash a WWE wrestler without much effort. The sniper; good with a gun, can wait a man out for 48 hours without blinking and take him out from the next zip code. The Face; my favorite, he doesn’t really do anything but he’s pretty to look at and that in and of itself is a means of distraction. The 5150; remember the volatile and unpredictable person…you want him on your team. The Ex-con; because they aren’t afraid to go back.

Hope this has helped you in some way. I actually live by it and am working on my entourage now. Accepting resumes as we speak.

Tania L Ramos, RN and Author Desperately wanting to be the Kick Ass girl.

BONUS ADVICE:
Never marry a Cartwright! Those chicks never survived. (name that show)

cartwrights

 

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