Someone asked me today, “What’s the best part of writing?”
It didn’t take me long to answer, “The interaction!”
If you know me at all then you know I am the biggest introvert ever. Sure, I have extrovert fantasies of becoming a ninja assassin stripper pole dancer, but they are fantasies for a reason. In a crowded room of penguin suits and black gowns, if I wore a red dress with three inch red Stillettos . . . you would never notice me. I fade in the crowd if it is not my crowd. I blend into wallpaper wallflowers better than any Gieco Gecko ever could.
And, although it may sound like fun being a ghost that no one sees, or being the fly on the wall that people whisper secrets in front of, it does nothing to boost my sense of accomplishment. I read this once: Johnny Carson was a huge introvert, so in order to perform on television he would stay secluded until show time, because appearing to be an extrovert took so much energy. I can fully understand.
Here’s the thing: I love to speak in public. Now I know so many people just turn pasty white and sweaty at the very thought of it, but I love it. Yes, I get nervous and need to consume massive amounts of water, but even as an introvert I love speaking to people when it is something I am passionate about. I am passionate about writing and encouraging people to follow their dreams, which is why these are the two biggest things I speak about in public.
Why do I love this? One, its way out of my comfort zone, so for me it is like jumping off a bridge with nothing more than a bungee cord keeping me from death. Yes, its like that! An excitement and panic all at once, and when it is all over it feels like an accomplishment. I survived. But the real reward comes when I get to interact one on one and face-to-face with people. I love when someone says that I inspired them, because it makes me feel like I made a difference. And I think deep down everyone needs to feel like they made a difference somehow. It is the interaction that refuels me and gives me energy, so it is the part I love the most.
I love to write! I love to speak! I love imagining that one day my dream of ninja assassin stripper pole dancer will come to fruition. But it is the interaction that makes me want to write more, speak more, and pursue my dreams more. Whether it be through social media or in person, I want to thank everyone who has refuel me these past three years and made a difference in my life. You are all my bungee cord jump.
Tania L Ramos, RN and Author Refueled.