It has struck me that I am no longer in my twenties. You’d think I would have figured that out nearly ten years ago, whilst leaving my twenties. But internally, I don’t feel like I’m hitting my forties. My brain is stuck on being 25 and in my prime. Then I look in the mirror and . . . eh! Crap, when did I age? I blame it on five years of night shifts, and now on endless future years of never-ending on call shifts that easily turn into 16+ hour days at work.
But I have discovered a fountain of youth. After a night of tossing and turning, and no one to talk to, it dawned on me that I don’t need to spend countless days doing on-call shifts. NO! All I have to do is sell 500,000 books. No biggie right? This is where my fans, friends, and those lurking from behind a url come in. All you have to do is buy two books: Be Still and Surviving the Writing Apocalypse. Then you tell two people (or more, I don’t want to limit anyone), and tell them to tell two people (or more, don’t damper your friends with boundaries), and so on. Before you know it, I’ll be 50 shades of younger in no time.
After selling 500,000 books and clearing anywhere from $500,000 to $1,200,000 depending on which version of book was purchased (paper back is nice *hint), I can leave my day job, which turns into a night job way too often, and no more sleepless nights. Whala! No more red, swollen eyes with dark circles aging me by years. No more dehydration from never getting to the water machine (a nursing hazard by the way). No bladder infections from holding my pee because I can’t get away from my patient in a urine friendly timely manner (yep, another nursing hazard).
Why, if you only purchase one (or two, give one away) copies of my book, then tell two of yours friends, and two of their friends (etc) do the same, I can be a new person in no time. You’re tiny contribution can be my fountain of youth: bright eyes, hydrated skin, fully functioning kidneys. You alone can be my youthful salvation. What do you say?
Yeah, I agree. Maybe I should try and get some more sleep.
This shameless plug has been brought to you by the exhausted rantings and middle of the night epiphanies of,
Tania L Ramos, sleepy author
Be Still: available on all ereaders, paperback, and hardback
Surviving the Writing Apocalypse: Content help for authors is available on most ereaders.