Picking On Myself: The Lighter Side

Remember that blog I wrote called, “$10 words: It’s a not a quadruped?” Well … I sorta, maybe, kinda INTENTIONALLY used the word marsupial in one of my books.  My kids got a kick out of it because they’ve heard me rant on about the quadruped thing.  The word hypocrite softly escaped someone’s lips, but nobody would fess up to mom about who said it.  The great thing is that while writing that particular line, I was laughing so hard I think I snorted.  Well, I was sort of laughing through the entire dialogue.

You see, I have been hit with writer’s block, well not so much block as, its just not turning out the way I want in my third novel, “A Man’s Worth,” (renamed for the fifth time for those taking notes or keeping score).  So, I decided to go back and restart my Aliens vs Zombies story (mentioned at www.TaniaLRamos.com), the one that was lost with my external hard drive crash.  Or, as I call it, The Great Crash of 2011.   Oh boy, let me tell you how awful I felt that day … I stared  long and hard out my second story window at the concrete below and wondered … just sat there and wondered … I wondered: Do cats really always land on their feet (Ooops, meant quadruped).  What? You thought I was gona jump? Heck no! But no cats came into my room that day.  Coincidence? LOL.

So I started my alien and zombie book to appease my son and boyfriend’s daughter.  One likes zombies, one likes aliens and so I have combined the two to tame the masses.  And if I would like to appease my brother the aliens will be sleeved with tattoos and for my other son the zombies will ride skateboards.  As for my daughter, well, I would eradicate the aliens to the depths of a black hole  where forth they would implode and the zombies would go to church and find Jesus.  So you see how I have my work cut out for me.  As for pleasing myself, I wrote about the blood seething, zombie marsupial chasing my hero through the badlands of Australia’s Outback, when  in fact the closest I have ever been to Australia was my dinner at Outback Steakhouse a few weeks ago, and the time I was at a Keith Urban concert.

BUT! It’s a sci-fi book, so do I really need to have been to the outback or seen a kangaroo (marsupial) to write about it? Ummm…I’ve never seen a zombie and I’m writing about that, and the closest to an alien encounter I’ve been is to my daughter who thinks she saw the light of “The Mother Ship” shine through the ceiling into her bath water (true story and house alarm is now set every night) and try to abduct her because they want to eat her brains…which sounds more like zombieism than alienism to me.  Whatever the case, my next scene was set in the jungles of Africa where two zombie elephants chase my hero and heroine (oh yeah, she’s an alien too), but I did exude a bit of self-control that time and call it an elephant not a pachyderm.  I’ve also explained mad cow through alien gambling habits and for as outlandish, garish, and blasphemous toward serious literature as this may all sound…both teenagers loved it and asked when the next chapter will be done.  So taking a day off from serious, staunch novelism to picking on myself has levied some new fans in my direction.  I’d like to thank Toby Keith and his, “Red Solo Cup,” song for giving me the motivation to take things to the lighter side and be able to pick on myself.  I’d also like to thank my kids whose imagination scares me sometimes, but I run with their ideas, so I guess I scare me sometimes too.  Hey, its literature and gets them to read, so if the aliens need tattoos and the humans need to level up with each win, then so be it.  Its nice to pick on myself by way of marsupials and be on the inside of the inside joke.


2 responses to “Picking On Myself: The Lighter Side

  1. I remember when I read your first book, I think you were in junior high. I kept looking up at you as I read your story and said to myself, ” my sweet baby girl wrote this spooky story of teenagers in junior high who go into the restroom and fall through the mirror and end up in some 3rd dementional world.” No, not my sweet little girl, she doesn’t think like that! Does she!!!

    • I remember that story. The Chinese kid was named Bob Garcia. They were looking for Omega, it was the only way to escape. Even my teacher gave me strange looks at that story, especially when the guys escaped only to realize they were in another alternate universe

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