It seems there was an error in my revision as I obliviously did not turn offf the track changes mode in Word. To be honest, I just bought Word in December. Never used it before, so I am finding working in this format to be some what mind boggling. Usually I would channel my inner geek and look to Youtube and other internet venues to study up on this new adventure, but I decided to wing it … and I got it wrong. Figures. Now before I continue on my topic of the day I just want to say that I apprciate everyone who is following my blog. I have visited most your sites and I love how diverse you all are: poets, novelists, photographers, medical professionals, and my mom. Hehe. My mom thinks I’m brilliant. Thanks mommy.
I realized a few things after rereading my book in editing:
- I am an amzing writer (and modest)
- I can make my mom cry just by telling her the scene and not actually reading the chapter (this is good, right?)
- Males tend to be my strongest and most written characters (Freud, do you have any insight here?)
- I write better when I’m in a bad mood (call it displacement)
- I think better after a sugar rush (considering keeping splenda packets by my computer)
- Country music and love scenes don’t mix (can’t write through tears, and I always wonder if the dog is going to come back)
- I live vicariously through my characters …
That’s what my topic today is about: living vicariously through characters. I have made a point to say that I do not write myself into characters. I may give them a joke that I said once. Maybe have them say something I said before, but I draw the line there. I do not add my personality, though some say if you write then you are showing a piece of you. I’ll buy that, but I won’t pay full price. You see, I don’t want to talk about me, that’s what the bio and website (www.TaniaLRamos.com) are for. HEY! I haven’t put in a shameless plug in awhile. Seriously, though; my characters are my alter ego. They are people I am not and could probably never be. Case and point: my character Dr. Christina Amity in “Be Still,” is very vocal and not afraid of confrontation. I AM THE OPPOSITE. I hate confrontation on every level. I am a peace maker and hate, hate, hate when I have to tell someone bad news or even the truth if I know it’ll hurt.
Then there’s Travis Silver who has to confront his father’s death and handles it poorly. Now I’m not condeming my mother to death (and yes mom, I know I have to wait at least a week to pull the plug), but if mom was on her death bed with no hope for survival, I would let her go (after the one week of praying for a miracle period). I guess being a nurse kind of puts some things in perspective, but again I can not relate to my character and I lived vicariously through his journey through self discovery.
Where I live vicariously is sometimes in their personalities. I love to get fiesty, bossy, and down right crass sometimes. Why? Because its alter ego me. It’s fun to be something I’m not. I get to be whatever I want to be. My most vicarious areas are always those gushy, romance scenes. I don’t do detailed like Harlequin novels, at most I say, “this is where we made love the first time.” End of story. I blush just thinking about a love scene. But there’s that scene where boy meets girl, boy kisses girl, or some other romantic thing where I became my character. Remember the movie, “Ghost,” with Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, the scene where Swayze becomes Whoopi’s character and kisses Demi? That’s pretty much what do with my characters. I jump into them and divulge in the romance…kissy faces and all. But,I’ve said too much.
I also create scenes I can only imagine, like sitting on top of a hill in the desert where the sky is full of stars and the city below is full of lights. “Like being in a glimmering snowglobe,” I wrote. I loved that scene, because I took myself there and felt it the way my characters did. Every tingle, every romantic glance. It’s so….wow! I’ve said things I wouldn’t say and done things I could only dream to do through my writing. It’s very liberating. Like being an actress before it ever goes to script, and I’ll know that I was the very first person to play that character.
What I have loved about blogging is that I’m slowly discovering I am not the only person who suffers from Writer’s schizophreni where I talk to myself in public. Or writer’s paranoia, because I think I’m not good enough. Or writer’s deflection where I put my anger into words. Or even writer’s dillusions where I put myself into the character and live vicariously through them. After all, as writers, we truly live the story before anyone else gets the chance to. I love this gift…except when it doesn’t shut itself off as I’m getting ready to go to sleep. I have one character that just won’t go away. It’s weird. I tell him I already wrote his story and it’ll be out in a few months, but he keeps dialoguing. I’m pretty sure he’s a diva and needs a sequel. Is it just me, or does anyone else need a character exorcism sometimes? Living vicariously does have its downside. 🙂