So, this is it. I finished my developmental rewrite and resubmitted the book for content editing. I am told that will take two weeks and my editing should only take a few days after that. Then the book goes to another review where they decide whether or not I get my nomitation for “Editor’s Choice.” And I all have to say to that is, “Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh …” oh, I could go on forever. I’m so over it. So so so over it. I don’t want to see this book anymore. I was so looking forward to seeing the final product, but now I just want to tuck the final product away on a shelf.
Do other author’s feel this way? I read the inside jacket of a Sparks book and he thanked so many people: editors, lawyers, managers, agents, researchers, and I’m thinking, “I want someone to edit my book.” Yeah, I don’t need an attorney or manager (yet), but to have someone do the monotonous revisions that sucked up two and half weeks of my life, well that I would not scoff at. I am exhausted, like put the dog out, close the blackout blinds, send the boyfriend off to a late night shift, and pop a Xanax kind of exhausted. And after the tenth read I feel like I’ve seen this stuff a million times before, and I don’t know if I can add in creative new details because I’m unsure whether they are actually new or something I already wrote. Does Palahniuk go through this? I need a vacation, maybe a nice get away at some establishment for 3 days (my nursing friends will uderstand that), where I can get some rest, talk to fun and interesting people, and chew on a few meds. Who knew writing was actually a full time job anyway? I thought I would write a little something, someone would read it and say, “Oh my God this is what the world has been waiting for!”, then I get a bonus check and take my family out to a nice dinner. Woo hoo!
I am so bummed. That is not the way it happens. Maybe after a two week hiatus this feeling of blah will have passed. Maybe it will be better when I see the finished product. I am just so exhausted and at the end of my rope with this project. I assume this is normal, though. What sucks is that I return to work some time this week and will no longer have all my free time to devote to writing. But, maybe going back to work is just the break I need. NOT! I still have ideas in my head! Voices are still speaking to me and they need their stories to be told. The world must know what happens between Ben and Evan’s struggle to be a family. And know what happens when the Packer kids try to get their parent’s divorced. I have stories! Tons of them, and although I am over the, “Be Still,” novel, I am not over my next books .. or the zombie-alien book I have promised my oldest son.
So I will take the rest of this week, and fingers crossed that I get back into my nursing job soon, because not being paid for over a week sucks! Then next week I jump right back into writing. I have goals to meet and I intend to meet to them. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. My next post won’t be so drab. Promise. I have a great theory on video games to get out…