I received my developmental editing yesterday and I was as nervous as a dog on a thunderous day to get home and read it. To my dismay it pretty much said the exact same thing the editorial review said, and I was left to wonder why the heck I paid for this. But i’m trying to see the proverbial silver lining to the colorless rainbow. The good thing is I have had time to further develop my characters in my head. And taking some advise from the editor I have modified some personaliy issues (namely, one character is tooooo emotional). I have called family and friends and posted a query to Facebook friends as to their opnions. I have been told there is a safety in a multitude of numbers … was it God who said that? Whoever it was a wise soul.
So I am in the process of revamping my characters and giving one of them more of a spine (despite my personal opinions). But I reread the chapter with the personality changes to my boyfriend, who has heard the ten other revisions to chapter one, and he says he likes the changes. He better if he wants a place to sleep! Seriously, I don’t think he would steer me wrong. He has given great advice so far. So I reread chapter one at least three times and feel comfortable with my changes and think my character will be better for it.
I was also told to give more description in one particular paragraph where I hurried through Jack’s dream.. I was told it was a moment where my creativity should kick in with more detail. After at least five rewrites, shaking my head a bunch of times, and asking the dog for her opinion, I think I got it right and feel like it is one of my finer moments. So here is a teaser from Chapter Three … although after two more editing services from iuniverse it may change again.
Eventually, a solid month passed and Jack wasn’t finding sleep any better; paranoia about suffocating to death from his disease coupled with the recurring nightmares ensued night after restless night. Most nights he awoke drenched in a cold sweat, unsure of what the dreams were about. He figured not remembering them at all would be best. The parts he did recall was seeing Shannon’s face soaked in blood, her bold, lifeless eyes stained red, almost animalistic, trying to consume his soul with their wild, ravenous gaze. She would call his name long and drawn out, her voice raspy and seductive as a demonic vixen, ensnaring him to go closer where she could steal away his life and end his pain.
Okay, well thought I’d share one of my finer moments when I feel okay with giving myself a pat on the back. By the way, the original paragrah read:
A solid month had gone by, Jack wasn’t sleeping any better. In fact, he wasn’t finding much comfort in sleep due to the recurring nightmares which ensued night after restless night. Most nights he awoke in a cold sweat, unsure of what the dreams were about. He figured not knowing was better than remembering. The most he could recall was seeing Shannon’s face soaked in blood, her bold, lifeless eyes piercing his soul.
Stay tuned for more teasers into, “Be Still.”