A finer moment

I received my developmental editing yesterday and I was as nervous as a dog on a thunderous day to get home and read it.  To my dismay it pretty much said the exact same thing the editorial review said, and I was left to wonder why the heck I paid for this.  But i’m trying to see the proverbial silver lining to the colorless rainbow.  The good thing is I have had time to further develop my characters in my head.  And taking some advise from the editor I have modified some personaliy issues (namely, one character is tooooo emotional).  I have called family and friends and posted a query to Facebook friends as to their opnions.  I have been told there is a safety in a multitude of numbers … was it God who said that? Whoever it was a wise soul.

So I am in the process of revamping my characters and giving one of them more of a spine (despite my personal opinions).  But I reread the chapter with the personality changes to my boyfriend, who has heard the ten other revisions to chapter one, and he says he likes the changes.  He better if he wants a place to sleep! Seriously, I don’t think he would steer me wrong. He has given great advice so far.  So I reread chapter  one at least three times and feel comfortable with my changes and think my character will be better for it.

I was also told to give more description in one particular paragraph where I hurried through Jack’s dream.. I was told it was a moment where my creativity should kick in with more detail.  After at least five rewrites, shaking my head a bunch of times, and asking the dog for her opinion, I think I got it right and feel like it is one of my finer moments.  So here is a teaser from Chapter Three … although after two more editing services from iuniverse it may change again.

Eventually, a solid month passed and Jack wasn’t finding sleep any better; paranoia about suffocating to death from his disease coupled with the recurring nightmares ensued night after restless night.  Most nights he awoke drenched in a cold sweat, unsure of what the dreams were about.  He figured not remembering them at all would be best. The parts he did recall was seeing Shannon’s face soaked in blood, her bold, lifeless eyes stained red, almost animalistic, trying to consume his soul with their wild, ravenous gaze.  She would call his name long and drawn out, her voice raspy and seductive as a demonic vixen, ensnaring him to go closer where she could steal away his life and end his pain.

Okay, well thought I’d share one of my finer moments when I feel okay with giving myself a pat on the back.  By the way, the original paragrah read:

A solid month had gone by, Jack wasn’t sleeping any better.  In fact, he wasn’t finding much comfort in sleep due to the recurring nightmares which ensued night after restless night.  Most nights he awoke in a cold sweat, unsure of what the dreams were about.  He figured not knowing was better than remembering.  The most he could recall was seeing Shannon’s face soaked in blood, her bold, lifeless eyes piercing his soul.

Stay tuned for more teasers into, “Be Still.”

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8 responses to “A finer moment

  1. Thanks for sharing today! See you around

  2. Thanks for visiting. I visited your website a few days ago but my computer ran out of battery. I’ll be sure to look again when I get back home.

  3. Okay, so maybe this is an ignorant question, Tania, but I have to ask: the advice you were given as far as editing, suggested changes, whatever–isn’t that all quite subjective? Isn’t it possible that you could go crazy (literally), trying to make your work fit one individual’s or panel’s idea of what “works” and will be successful/marketable?? I’m honestly asking–because it’s what keeps me stuck in the “I’m just writing my novel for myself” mode. If I have to rewrite it 10 times for somebody else, I don’t think it’s going to be “my” book anymore! Am I being too juvenile here, or what?

    PS: Although the post about “men” looks very intriguing, I’ll have to pass tonight–I’m way to cranky and irritable; it might keep me up!

    Catch you later!

    • Okay, I know exactly what you are saying, because I said the same thing before I sent it in for editing: what do I do if they say, “change it all?” Do I stand by my guns and say, “absolutely not.” or do I change it? I am self-publsihing through an Indie company so it is very easy to say, “screw you, this is my baby.” And I do have that option, but I am trying to take critique with an open mind and a grain of salt (whatever that really means). Mind you, I rewrote chapter one about five times before I sent it in for review. Part of that reason is because by the time I finished the book I realized where I could add in more symbolism, or have room to add in more cue, etc… I did speak with my colaboration editor to give my opposition to changing my character too much and defend who she is, to which he agreed and said the developer may have been too harsh or not truly understood how emotional even seasoned doctors can be (my character in question). I stand by not changing her too much, but do agree in some instances where she could tone it down a bit. All in all, after giving it a day to stop stewing in my brain that what I wrote wasn’t perfect, I felt some suggestions were warranted (such as add more detail here, or try and give some background history here, and too much detail for a filler section) and took those “opinions” in stride. It is MY book afterall, so I will make the changes where I deem necessary, but won’t completely turn an overt eye to suggestions or citique. I can honestly say that they saw things from a different perspective because I am too close to the material and see things play out more in my head than I actually put on paper. As for my changing my chapters ten times, a lot of that was my own revision that I wasn’t happy with. I would read the changes to a friend, but when I heard it out loud it wouldn’t sound right, so I’d go revise. I did try some small changes suggested by the developer and thought some were great and others were not, so I followed my heart and stood by my character…although it may cost me my award nomination in the end, I have to be comforatble with what I wrote above and beyond recognition of an award.

      • I applaud your efforts, Tania! Both on writing, and on being open-minded. Since I got sidetracked by the blog thing, my novel is unfinished–on hiatus. I wish you only the very best success!

        And thank you, my dear, for your recent visits to my little blog–it means a great deal. See you again soon! God bless you.

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