Chocolate and Caffeine

     So far I have dealt with writer’s block and snot issues that have impeded my writing progression.  I know writer’s block is a huge issue amongst writers and authors.  It’s the like the plague to us.  For me, writer’s block occurs every few weeks as nothing more than a mild bump in the road that I can easily just hop over.  But then there are times when it is like hitting a huge wall and I have to do the military climb over the wall … and I don’t do obstacle courses very well.  Above all that there s one thing, one ginormous issue, that I have trouble working through on a weekly basis: Migraines!

     I have suffered from migraines since I was 12-years-old.  I will be honest, at one point in my life they were so severe and clustered that I spent 20 days out of the month dealing with them, 5 days recuperating, and another 5 days wondering when they will strike again.  It was a time in my life when suicide was a better option than living with this wretched infliction, but I never did it (or tried).  At that time I was told to stay away from caffeine and chocolate … twenty years later it is caffeine and chocolate that we are told to take.  Funny how that works.  Well, migraines stopped me from doing many things.  I once thought about enlisting in the Army when I was younger, but I knew it would be difficult with the migraines.  I thought about the Sheriffs, but drowned in the same conclusion.

     Eventually the migraines stopped, but they return for about a two-year stint then vanish just as long.  Now-a-days we have great meds like Imitrex, which cure the migraine but make me feel like I am having a stroke in exchange.  Good old-fashioned Coke and a Snickers works for me,and if that doesn’t then a massage at Ling Ling’s in the Mall of Victor Valley works, too.  Oh, fifteen minutes under the catatonic accupressure to my scalp and space between my thumb and pointer finger will make me fall to my knees, but when it’s all over and done with I am migraine free.

     The reason I bring up migraines is because it is the single best way to halt any progression of my writing.  Today, for example, I was suffering from a tension migraine which hits like a million tiny needles at the base of my skull then sends it soldiers of pain into my shoulders and neck.  It sucks.  But worse than all that I find I can not write.  It is a total vacuuming experience where it sucks my will to even think about writing.  And if I do push past the urge to sleep all day then the photophobia (sensitivity to light) sets in.  Kind of hard to stare at a monitor when the light is burning my cornea.  Migarines! A fiendish alli of the devil that has been put in place to keep me from realizing my talents.

     Ever notice how injuries tend to hurt people in ways worse than another person might take it.  For example: a writer goes blind … how does he write? A carpenter gets arthritis … how does he work? A runner loses a leg in an accident … how does he run? A photographer goes blind.  etc etc…  We see all the time the will of man prevailing past these logs in the road and we write about them or make movies dedicated to the strength of man.  I have to tell you, being a writer who suffers from migraines is like being a painter who is losing his sight.  It is not easy and sometimes makes me want to give up on it, but I haven’t.

     Toady i put my head down on the cold table at Starbucks with a cup of ice water poised on my neck and lowered the light on the computer screen, closed my left eye (the one which hurt most), and typed with one finger.  Oh, I saw the looks people gave me, but you know what? I finished chapter twelve of my third book.  I pushed past the thorn in my eye and prevailed.  I conquered the migraine monster that was all set to defeat the fair Chapter Twelve and laugh as I went fetal under a cold shower and 800mg of Ibuprofen…BUT, I prevailed! I opened my throbbing left eye, raised my cup of ice water and shouted, “I AM A WRITER! READ MY ROAR!” Okay…not really.  I hit “sleep” on the computer then went and took a nap in my car until my son got out of school, but its the principal of the matter, I think.

     Today’s word of wisdom: don’t let it get you down.  Whatever your “It” is, your will is much bigger.  It may be a small accomplishment like finishing the last few paragraphs in chapter twelve, or it may be getting up out of bed after a bad break up.  Whatever “it” is, you must be strong in mind.  Then you can be strong in body.  And when you are strong in mind and body, then you can be strong in soul.  Give yourself permission to be bigger than the boogeyman.  I conquered the migraine monster, now go defeat your monster.

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5 responses to “Chocolate and Caffeine

  1. This was an excellent post. I enjoy reading your blog very much.

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  2. My pastor told me “Push yourself-just five more minutes”. “Just five more minutes and you’ll be amazed at what you can get done. Don’t let the monster rob you. PUSH, JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES! I love you Tania.

  3. This is wonderful–not that you have migraines–but that your warrior spirit prevails! I’ve been told mine are not “true” migraines–which is funny, unless I’m in the middle of one!! Standing with you, Caddo

    • how is not a true migraine? i used to be told i was too young to have them when i was in my teens. people who dont have them don’t always get how debilitating they truly are. i have lost weeks of my life, but i try and push past them. just not always the case, though. somedays all i can do is sleep them away.

      • Yes, it’s unfortunate that people don’t “get” what they haven’t experienced. And the medical folks aren’t always much help, or they contradict each other…I’d best nip this here, as I already have a headache! Just dropped by to see how you are–take care, and God bless you!

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