Tag Archives: tania l ramos

Happy Nurses Week: That’s Me

This week is nurses week in the good ol’ U.S. of A. What does that mean for me as a nurse? Not much.  What? I’m not talking books or writing today? Not today, because my career as a nurse is what pays for my career as an author . . . or should I say, the writing career that sucks all the money from my nursing career. yeah, I need a real job to support the everlasting dream.  Why? Because I’m a single mom, running an entire household, putting food on the table, and handling business on my own. Is there a single mom’s week? And if there was what would you get a single mom? A cook and maid would be nice.

Back to nurses week! What is happening during this fine nurses week at my job? Not much. I worked yesterday from 10 a.m. to 2 a.m.  Count those hours and it amounts to SIXTEEN hours at work, and what did I get for it? Zip. Zilch. Nada. No, “Happy nurses week,” or “We appreciate your time.” Nope. Of course I did get double time, but after taxes I’ll owe more than I actually get.  Hearing the words, “Happy nurses week” would’ve been nice.  Of course, all my nursing friends have blasted this all over Facebook and Twitter, but we are in the trenches with other, so it should sound more like, “Hey buddy, we survived another year!”

Now here is what truly irks me about the nursing stereotype.  One, I really don’t mind if a guy thinks of a nurse as some sexy woman with wild hair pulled back under a small nursing cap, wearing a short and tight white scrub dress and white fish net stockings.  Why don’t I mind? Because I’d rather be thought of as hot and sexy rather than, “Please tell me that is chocolate on your gloves.” If you could see me at two a.m., you wouldn’t elect to have your appendix removed and then have me as your nurse. *shivers at the thought* It’s not a hot look, unless dark circles under the eyes, hair pulled up into a sloppy bun held together by a syringe, and dried tear stains (from when I silently cried in the corner at a one a.m. moment of delirium) is sexy to you. It’s not to me.

What do nurses do? I tell you this so you can get a better understanding at the fact that we don’t sit around the counter, passing around food, and gossiping all day.  Trust me, if you ever see that happening then the apocalypse has surely begun! And yes, it does occur, but mostly we are comparing notes and trying to maintain our sanity by venting to other staff. What do nurses do? We are the consummate multitaskers, and given the opportunity would love to take the time to get to know our patients better.  But we can’t, and that’s not your fault.

Healthcare is a broken system, and not just because of the insured or the uninsured, but because it is not run by doctors and nurses, it is run by CPAs and bureaucrats. Not your fault, but not mine either. So if I can’t spend more than five minutes getting to really know a patient, it’s because we now wear many hats. CNA’s, LVNs, aides, techs . . . they are all being slowly phased out.  Now a nurse has to take vital signs for all patients, cleans beds, dole out the gambit of meds, hunt down your doctor to clarify his orders, then reclarify the orders with pharmacy only to discover the new medication is not in our system.  Track down doctor–who is now livid–reclarify order, recall pharmacy and wait! It is a vicious cycle.  Now add that a patient needs to be prepped for surgery which can take a good two hours if all the labs and ancillary workups aren’t done. Heaven forbid another patient needs a blood transfusion which now requires the nurse to sit at the bedside for half an hour to ensure there is no allergic reaction.  Don’t get me started on the one hour process to admit and the two hour process to discharge.  It’s all about the paperwork and the need to cover your ass (CYA), or more-so, to cover the facility’s behind and in the meantime the family of our patients are yelling at our blatant neglect of their loved one. Arghh!

We do this twelve hours a day, and in some instance like mine, twelve can easily turn into sixteen (once it was twenty) hour shifts. And at two a.m. there is still a family member screaming over the phone at how they are going to call the CEO and file a report.  ”I understand,” is all I can say at that point, and still, I sit patiently by the patients bedside and ensure he/she is not in pain, spoon feeding ice chips, putting dentures back in their mouth, and changing a soiled diaper, all the while ensuring the patient who is apologizing for being so helpless that this is my job, and that he/she is my main concern.  Meanwhile, I am being reported by family to a department manager for being uninformative, or something equally as assanine.

Let me explain this: It isn’t that I don’t want to field a million questions, it’s that for every minute I spend defending myself and my actions to a distraught family member, is minutes I am taken from my patient.  So, yes, sometimes I’ll opt for being reported.  I am an advocate for your family and sometimes for you if you are a patient.  My loyalties lay with you.  This is my job.  It is my oath. Even when you scream and yell at me, I ensure you receive perfect care.  Even when you are rude and condescending toward my abilities in my chosen profession, I ensure your safety.  Even when you poop your pants, I console you and say I am doing my job and not to worry, I’m not judging you.  Even when you degrade me for forgetting something off my ever growing list, I apologize and sincerely mean it.  Why? Because I’m a nurse. I’m about as tough as nails as it could ever get . . . and still, I care.

HAPPY NURSES WEEK

nurses

Tania L Ramos, Author and Recovery Room Nurse

When I’m Wrong, I’m Wrong: I Was Right

A few posts ago I declared that I would take a hiatus from writing due to life and the way it interferes with my love of writing.  To put it in perspective, when I love to do something I want to do it all the time and I want to do it well.  Between working, raising children, running the WritingApocalypse.com website, book shows (it’s that season again) and all the other surprise things that life doles out, it became difficult to find time to write.  And because I was staying up until all hours of the night trying to sneak in a few chapters only to wake up three hours later for a full twelve hour shift of nursing at the hospital, it felt like I was starting to despise my true passion.  And because of that, I knew it was time to take a break.

Let me say this: So many of you wonderful bloggers and authors immediately sent me well wishes and gave me the thumbs up to take a break.  I thank you all for that. It felt like a huge relief to know I am not the only author who needs to get off the boat and take a side excursion for awhile.  You all eased my guilt trip a bit, though I still feel like I’m missing something when I’m not writing . . . so I know i’ll be back.

Since my short break I have so far: worked in my yard and planted numerous flowers and fruit plants. Made the call to fix the pool. Updated the WritingApocalypse.com website. Wrote out my reviews.  Caught up on emails. Started to get the desk organized. Finished reading a book. And just sat down to hold random, useless conversations with my friends.

Alas, taking a hiatus has been good for my soul and sanity.  Still, those grungy teens full of hope and life have sat patiently and silently by.  I know they are there awaiting their story to be told.  I hope they hang around a bit. The more rest I get, the more I feel a welling of courage to write that next book. I was right in taking some time off. Then again, I’m usually right  :-)

Tania L Ramos, Author Taking A Siesta

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Hello Goodbye

Life is exhausting! It is downright, sometimes, just painstaking to climb out of bed in the morning. The earlier I try to get to sleep, the worse it seems to get.  I’m an episode of Scooby Doo where he is trying to run forward but is remaining in place.  That’s me; stand still motion in a forward motion world.

So several things have come to fruition and not all of them positives.  In fact, when I initially thought of writing this bit on Monday about giving bad news, I was handed some bad news.  Word hit me that a good friend of mine took his own life Sunday afternoon while his wife and kids were at market.  This is a very young man and amazing poet.  In hindsight, his poetry sometimes left stepping stones into the torment he felt, but he masked it in pretty words.  Sometimes blue simply means blue, and sometimes it really is a metaphor.  Friends and family–and myself–wish we would have read between the lines.  What if? I get tired of that question, it is the one that haunts the longest and burns the deepest, always leaving a crater in my soul.

What was my original blog supposed to encompass on Monday? Two things: bad reviews and self defeat.  I’ll start with the first.  Unfortunately, not all books we read for my website WritingApocalypse.com are top quality, and so we must write letters of rejection. Boy, do we hate that.  Seriously, it tears at our gut, especially when people tell us this book will be life changing or is going to be the best we have ever seen. And it isn’t. How do you tell someone that without feeling some sense of sorrow. I hate getting bad reviews, but hate giving them more. It’s part of the job we tell ourselves.  It’s part of writing.  ”Why can’t all books be good,” one reader stated.  What is the answer to that?  We wish they were.  So comes the point where have to write a tactful letter and say goodbye to a book that will not make the website.

And what of self-defeat? I’ve hit the topic a time or two, as it seems to really be creeping around the soul a bit more lately.  I love to write.  I love to write. I love to write.  At the same time, I love having free time to work in my yard, to workout, to hike, to walk, to sit and talk without remorse that I should be editing or writing, to enjoy reading a book for pleasure, and to enjoy my family. There is a story in my head, but it is difficult as I have no real map into this one, just bursts of colors like fireworks and hope that people will care to see the show.  Couple that with the fact that it will inhibit how I can distribute the book, and I’m doing a total face-palm. Should I take a hiatus from writing to catch up on life? Or is writing my life? Between a full-time job, part-time job, kids, health, home and writing, something has to give. I’m at a crossroads, as I do not want to say goodbye to any of them, but only one is truly able to be put off.

Monday was a day of mourning on so many levels.  I must say goodbye to a dear friend and with that I have no choice.  The team must turn down a book for inclusion on the website, and that is just a fact of life . . . they aren’t all winners.  Finally, do I also say hello to a goodbye of my own? I’ll sleep on it . . . perhaps jot down a chapter and see how easily it flows.  Until then, I say goodbye to “How to Save a Life,” which is finally finished and still in the working title stages.  At some time, I will find the time to finish editing.  Sometime . . .

I hope you found your sunset Matt. RIP

I hope you found your sunset Matt. RIP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tania L Ramos, Author Hating Goodbyes

When the Sun Betrays the Character

The morning started off as cool with a light dusting of iced air creeping over the mountain.  It was the first day of spring and the day Elsa loved most.  Despite the bitter bite on the air, she ran outside wearing only sweatpants and a light t-shirt with Hello Kitty house boots.  She slushed through the crunching ice, now thin and moist, sounding like Frosted Flakes cracking under her foot.

It was spring! It was supposed to be a joyous, but lack of her father arriving home after another drawn out saga of arguments between her parents meant he would miss this tradition of watching the first spring sun peek out from behind the peaks atop Bear Mountain.  Elsa drowned out the endless cackle of her mother as she shouted her daughter was acting crazy and would catch a cold and die.  But Elsa cared less.  The misgivings of her parents had long since wore through any teenage patience she had, and missing the rising spring sun was something she was okay to catch cold over.

Still, the eastern sky was barely lit with a spry flare of hazy orange feeling its way into the night’s dusky blue.  Elsa stood among the pines, taking in the scent of fresh dew on pine needles and relished in the tantalizing scent that filled her nose.  Spring had its own fragrance, and on rare occasion when it arose any other time of the year, she would instantly float back to the first day of spring and standing out on the slurry with her father as they awaited the first warmth on the mountain.

She stood in an opening between two tall pines as the burnt orange ball rose in a slow teasing pace.  Eyes closed, she lifted her head to the sky, longing and anticipating the touch of flares upon her frozen face.  It was time to wake up from winter’s hibernation and she could hardly wait, now standing on tip toes to stretch up and allow her skin to swallow up the heat.

Then . . .

The first beam of light danced on her fingers and there was an instant sensation of nerves waking into pins and needles poking at her flesh.  She was cold and the reviving flesh ached at the new warmth, yet stretched out further to bathe in more.  Every inch of her small frame was engulfed in small increments at a time until the light of the world held her.  Her head lifted higher and she felt the moment a smile crossed her face.

The pins and needles became like small lighters held at her flesh.  This was all wrong! She opened her eyes wide to be instantly met with a burning ball of fire and quickly let out a pained gasp.  Every inch of skin crawled beneath the searing sun and she felt as if being burned at the stake.  Laden knees gave out and her burned palms were first to lay in the slurry of stinging ice and water.  She screamed in deafening agony, knowing the sun had betrayed her, helpless to move from its light of death as she lay cooking under the sun, sprawled against a bed of cold, white powder.

As years went by, the scars, tiny little cropped circle reminders, remained to serve as notes of the day the sun became an enemy.  The words she heard whispered around the small town at night were vampire  and witch.  They couldn’t be more wrong.  It was a disease, not a curse.  One that changed her life, her mentality and made her hide behind the darkness of the night and curtains  . . . alone.

If there was one thing she could she wish for . . . but it wouldn’t be the wish you would think.

*****This has been an introduction into my next book–still untitled. Just a tease, and I hope that it was*****

Tania L Ramos, Still Heeding to the Voices

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Feeling Squirrely

As we drove home today from dropping off my daughter it occurred to me that I am not as daring as I once was.  What brought on this sudden notion? Squirrels. Yeah, I said it: squirrels.

Truth be told, I think squirrels are the ultimate thrill seekers. Think about it: How many times have you driven down the road and had a squirrel dash out in front of your car? It’s happened to all of us, right? Coincidence? I think not.

Here’s what I think:

Fluffy the Squirrel: Hey Butch?

Butch the Squirrel: ‘Sup of Fluffs?

Fluffy: You feeling like a round of danger today?

Butch: Hellz to the yeah.  Whatcha got in mind?

Fluffy: Tracks?

Butch: Oh man, you must be feeling squirrely today if you wanna hit the tracks.

Fluffy: I’m feeling kinda nutty. Let’s do it.

The squirrels hang out at the train tracks, watch a few roll by, even leave a few acorns on the tracks and watch them get smashed.  Butch dodges a train followed by Fluffy.

Fluffy: Enough practice. Let’s do this!

Butch gives Fluffy a smack on his fuzzy tail and shouts, “Go! Go! Go!” Fluffy waits until the absolute last moment and races across the street barely missing being obliterated by a speeding car. His little pounding heart is filled with adrenaline as he does an air fist pump and declares, “I am the ultimate thrill seeker!”

So the next time you see a little Fluffy or Butch run across the street you have to say, “Well played little extremist thrill seeker. Well played.”

squirrel

Tania L Ramos, Author Giving Squirrels their Props.

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